My Word of the Year 2020: Present

Last year I enjoyed picking a word of the year. I chose growth as I was working on learning and growing in many areas of my life. 2019 brought a lot of changes. Growth definitely happened. You always grow through challenging times and 2019 was definitely a challenging year for me in many ways.

              Looking onto 2020…wow. I just remember being in college and hearing about the school’s 2020 vision all the time. I guess they must be almost on 2030 now huh? There are also many 2025 vision planning going on and honestly I just can’t look that far ahead right now. It’s great to have a 5 year plan, but I’m putting focus in the next 1-2 years right now. This brings me to me word for 2020, which is Present. I want to be more present in life, in my workouts and my school work and work. It’s so hard for me to not think ahead. When I am in school, I constantly plan out what assignment I will be working on a week or two weeks or even further ahead. I mean, some of it is necessary because having classes online and working during the day, there has to be planning. However, I often spend too much time stressing and worrying about the next thing due. I don’t stop until the semester is done and then months go by and I haven’t really enjoyed myself. All the pressure really comes from myself as I am also trying to save money and so I restrict in spending and basically lead to not being allowed to have fun because “fun” requires going out and meeting friends and buying a meal. I think I could do better to have some fun and also save.

              I haven’t felt very present in my workouts at the gym lately. There is just so much on my mind all the time. This time off from school and a few days off for the holidays have helped me. One thing is writing. My blog has obviously taken a backseat and while I don’t need to always write for the blog, I like to write for myself, to remember moments in my life and also to process things happening. Somehow I need to give myself some more time to write again.

              With being present, I think it’s important for me to remember block timing. I wake up early to go to the gym. I set aside that time for a workout and I should be able to set my mind in that time to focus on working out, rather than homework. My thing is I LOVE the mornings and I want to get everything done in the mornings but it just doesn’t happen that way. I usually aim to go to the gym on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday morning. I used to sleep in a bit on Tuesday and Friday, but now I often get up at 5am anyway to use that time and do some homework or yoga before work. It’s my “me time” that I love and a chance to work on things. Since Brian heads off to work around 5:30am, it’s also quiet time, which I enjoy. So I have to remember, the morning gym session, even if only 45 minutes, is important as my me time and workout time. Then I can do some homework after. I also have been better about coming home from work, having dinner with Brian for 30 minutes or so and then heading to my office to work on things. While I don’t always like doing homework in the evening, it’s also necessary when working full time and going to school. I remind myself that it is only temporary in this phase of my life.

              Days and months can sometimes feel like such a blur, just chugging along to get by, but that’s no way to live. I need more presence overall in my life and focus on the here and now instead of the future or past. So that’s my word for the year. Be present!!

Namaste